It has been quite some time since I last written on anything on this blog/wordpress. Quite a bit has happened since April, so perhaps it would be good to run through some of the more noteworthy events that have happened. First up is regarding work. My contract was due to expire nearing the end of May and so I had a chat with my boss during the end of April regarding it. To my surprise, though it was communicated to me at the start of the contract that there would be a pay raise after 1 year, surprise surprise there wasn’t any. During my 3 years of working, I’ve only had a single pay raise for a single job role which I have held onto, and to top it off, it was a measly pay raise of $16. I was really disappointed, quite angry and quite unmotivated to work anymore. Thinking back, I’m not sure why I felt so angry back then when I am already used to not having pay raise, and the only pay raise I get is from job-hopping. I suppose it was due to the expectation of the pay raise as there was nothing else to look forward to in the job, as there was no prospects or any chance of conversion in my current department as they are planning to decommission the database that my team is in charge of. Since then, the perm staff themselves are leaving one by one. Time for me to start looking for a new job again. I guess I wore my emotions quite openly on my sleeves as my boss noted my drop in morale and spoke to me about career and wanting to do things in life. It was a good session, but still I guess it is time for me to leave soon. Even after that talk with him, I still am not sure of what is it that I really want to do. It seems that I am unable to sustain my interest in things over long stretches of time. Also, I am still struggling with what does work mean for Christians. I guess that I am unable to accept the concept of work which was put forth by my church and I will not detail anything regarding it here as it will be quite long. Might consider writing another post on it.
In any case, since then I have signed an extension for my contract. My plan was to extend first and in the mean time, look for another job. I still do not know what is it that I want to do, but I will keep searching. It seems that I time is running out on me, but I have to keep searching. In May, I took one week off as well to study for my FRM level 2 exam. I failed last year and this was a retake. It was difficult and I am not sure of how my chances are but hopefully I will pass this time. The exam results are out on 28th June. Am honestly not sure of how useful this will be to my career path as well. Shall see how things go in a few months time. The one week study leave was good, and I really enjoyed not going to work and able to do things at my own time. Guess that was a taste of how a day is like in financial freedom (of course without the studying of FRM). Managed to catch X-men Apocalypse during the opening week as well. Was also struck by the fact of inflation being prevalent in everyday life. In the past, a Yakun toast set 1 was $4, but when I had it, it was $4.80. I thought that there was mild deflation, but guess foodstuff are not affected.
Another thing was the conversation after church with my girlfriend and one of the churchmate. We were just sharing about stuff, and it was then that I realised that I really needed to work on my communication skills and not layer my own impression of how my girlfriend thinks upon her. This was quite serious as through the session, I discovered that I appeared to have many wrong impressions and she was really disappointed. They could be classified in the table below:
There could have been more issues but I forgot them. What I think was the impression I formed when we discussed these issues privately and it appeared that they were not true as of 22 May 2016. This is something which I really need to learn, which is to understand my girlfriend better and not form my own images and impressions. To top it off, I briefly shared about my dream of trading for a living and staying home to take care of the house and children and she seemed appalled at the idea. She said she was risk adverse and it was unfair that the family had to rely on her single income for stability. Though I did say that I would only do that only if I was very confident of my own skills, she was still not convinced. On hindsight, that did seem like a far-fetched idea and not feasible. In any case, that is now just a dream , as the famous saying goes, “the journey to a thousand miles begins with a step”. I will begin to learn how to trade in the mean time in order to supplement my main income. Of course, like mahjong, trading requires a person to pay “school fees”. I have started by setting aside $5k SGD to begin and learning along the way. This episode kind of made me thought that she din’t trust my judgement and money management skills. This was also raised a year ago when I wanted to invest $1k SGD in seoul yummy via MoolahSense as an investment in crowd-funding in order to earn a 4.5% interest. I am still not sure if she trusts me or not but it’s ok, I need to believe in myself and have confidence in myself. Will try to learn trading for now, at the same time learning how to understand my girlfriend better and see how things go.